Posted by Frankly Francis on September 4, 2010 under Personal, Social Issues/Politics | 
As my friend Kent says, “Life is not a dress rehearsal.”
As Frankly Francis says, “Enjoy the moments as they come because there is no rewind button.”
As Marv Levy says, “Where would you rather be than right here, right now?”
We are in a very unique position geographically, economically, historically and politically. Perhaps never before in recorded history has a nation had at its disposal what we have today.
For the most part, it has been handed to us.
Seriously, as far as life as we know it on this planet goes, we have hit the big lottery.
So through apathy and sloth, will we waste what we have been given? Or will we further multiply it?
Social evolution is a non-linear pathway – we tend to get distracted along the way. What can safely be said is that humanity has yet to achieve its full potential.
I have an idea that in the long run, our Founding Fathers will be thought of more as practical philosophers rather than as revolutionaries. How they embraced the potential of mankind is really remarkable, especially in the context of the time that they lived in.
Indulge me and re-read these words:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
Now over 230 years old, what powerful and well chosen words these are.
How symbiotic…first, amongst each other, we are all equal. Because of that, I have the absolute right to my own life. And given that, I have the liberty to live and pursue my own pathway.
Or in regressive terms, I cannot pursue my own happiness if I do not have liberty… and I cannot have liberty if I do not have the right to my life…and I cannot have the right to my own life unless we are all equal.
It all fits.
And it remains revolutionary to this very day.
But that’s not the intriguing part for me. The intriguing part is the glossed over, subtle and almost hidden words “among these.”
“Among These” expands our individual rights beyond the enumerated “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”
What else does this include? Have you ever speculated?
Could it really, actually play out like this?
I may choose to do whatever I want, so long as I am not infringing on anyone else’s right to do what they want. Simply put, my right to throw a punch ends at your nose. However, if you stick your nose into my business, well then you face the consequences.
I believe that it is our unique individuality that needs to be maximized during the brief time allotted to us. Fight the Power Brothers and Sisters. And teach your children too.
Frankly,
Francis
Posted by Frankly Francis on August 7, 2010 under Personal |
Well, I’m here to tell you that from personal experience, the answer is yes.
It Begins
I’d like to think that I’ve always been a bit of a romantic, but in high school, I devoted myself to playing in a band for the purpose of lots of sex & drugs & rock-n-roll. Let me be brutally honest – it worked beyond my wildest expectations! In fact, it worked so well, by the time I was 18, I was kind of tired of the whole thing…
It Continues
So, I’ve just about graduated from high school and I go to this superb outdoor concert with my girlfriend at the time. Great bands and great times to be had except that my girlfriend really does not want to be there and really wants to leave. In fact she’s making me so miserable that leaving is the best alternative. So we go.
Then It Happens
On the way out, as I’m walking a little behind my soon to be ex-girlfriend, I see a vision of female beauty approaching me:
Tall, blonde, short-shorts (that’s what we called ‘em at the time), tube top, dangling earrings, calf-laced platform shoes…yeah, that’s the way it was.
I distinctly remember saying to myself, “I should not be leaving, I should be staying to meet this woman.” And let me be very clear here, she was a woman, I was still a boy.
I left with my unhappy girlfriend. So it goes…
Fast Forward
So now I’ve graduated from high school. It’s 1975 for those who care about carbon dating. My close friend, Cocaine Corey, suggests that I go to Hairstyling School. The movie “Shampoo” had just been released (starring Warren Beatty & Goldie Hawn) and Beatty was having a pretty good time. Seemed like a great idea, so it’s off to become a Cosmetologist.
It Really Happens
First day of Hairstyling School. I’m surrounded by a lot of very hip people older than myself. Intimidation is taking its toll on me. I settle into my chair, but realize that I forgot something, so I leave the room.
At the doorway…right smack dab in the middle of the doorway…I mean, at the exact center of the doorway, I literally walk right into (you may have guessed it) my blonde Goddess from the aborted rock concert a few months before. The impact is so strong, we literally almost knock each other unconscious. Not only am I seeing stars, but I’m seeing stars.
She Likes Me
The blonde Goddess, who happens to be a couple of years my senior and maybe not as smart as she should be in picking a guy, actually falls for me and within a few months we are engaged. About one year later to the day we are married. A little more than one year after that our first child is born. Guess we were really stupid or just really in love…
Then...
She Still Likes Me
35 years later. 3 daughters and a few grandchildren. We are still living life’s adventures together. I tell her she has been punished enough by my presence, but she still lets me in the house.
...and now
Like everyone, we’ve had our share of ups and downs, but I would not walk this planet with anyone else.
Frankly,
Francis
P.S. I dropped out of Hairstyling School – I had no talent for it. But I ended up with a whole lot more than a certificate and a vocation!
Posted by Frankly Francis on July 1, 2010 under Personal |
So last weekend was spent going to a couple of graduation parties. Lots of fun, good to see people, proud of the graduates. Got me a little reflective…
I have never attended one of my own graduations. I intend to keep it that way. Pomp & Circumstance does have its place amongst us and I respect that for others.
I had what you might call a less than wholesome attitude in high school. I wanted to live. I wanted to experience things. And authority and rules were needlessly restrictive.
You know what it was about? It was playing in a rock-n-roll band and enjoying to the fullest all that went along with that. I never got caught up in school spirit. I was doing time when it came to that place…
Hence, I decided to my skip my graduation. I took a nap during its scheduled time. Never regretted it.
Fast forward a couple of decades. Number Two daughter (I refer to my children by their birth order rather than by their names) was graduating from the very same high school. It meant that I had to go to the graduation ceremony. I really did want to attend her graduation, but I still wasn’t too keen on being back at my old alma mater.
Grad ceremony time and, well, I’m getting though it just fine. As she stepped up to the podium, I noticed that the Valedictorian had colored a rainbow on her headgear.
She took a moment to make the standard acknowledgements and opening remarks.
She then launched into a searing harangue about how mean and awful her fellow classmates were to her and to each other. Accusations of cliques and cruelty shot from her lips like bullets from an AK-47.
She was clearly deviating from her pre-approved speech. The school board members and faculty were squirming in their chairs behind her.
Then, to my wonder and amazement, she topped it all off by formally outing herself! Yep, she played that card in front of a full house. Remember the mention of the rainbow earlier?
Graduates were openly yelling and taunting her. Parents were saying very nasty things loudly. The school officials looked ready for retirement.
Bedlam and anarchy all around me. Chaos.
Truth being stranger than fiction in front of my eyes.
I was ecstatic! I think I yelled “You Go Girl!” Frankly Francis sidebar: please place the phrase in the time context that it was delivered in – prior to this millennium.
It was the best graduation I’ve ever witnessed!
However, cinematically, the best commencement address I’ve ever heard was delivered by Rodney Dangerfield in the movie “Back to School.” It went something like this:
“Thank you, Dean Martin, President Sinclair…and members of the graduating class. I have only one thing to say to you today…it’s a jungle out there.
You gotta look out for number one. But don’t step in number two.
And so, to all you graduates…as you go out into the world my advice to you is…don’t go! It’s rough out there. Move back with your parents. Let them worry about it.”
That pretty much calls it the way it is.
Frankly,
Francis
Posted by Frankly Francis on May 15, 2010 under Personal |
I’ve decided upon my life’s goal:
I want to be as good as my dog thinks I am
The Set-Up
Emma, our resident feline (aka Mrs. Peal) is really a pain to winter with. She loves being outdoors, but does not like to go out in the snow. A few years ago, we decided, before the complete winter lock down, that we would get a kitten to occupy our soon to be cabin fevered cat.
As is typical of most of our planning and execution, we came home instead with a dog…a male Chihuahua puppy to be more precise.
Thus, for better or worse, Martini (Tini) Oliver joined our clan.
We’ve not had much dog experience, and what we have had has not been all that good. So it was with certain trepidation that we began our life together.
The Early Days
Martini Oliver
He beached himself on a step as a puppy. That was it for stairs. We put in a small ramp in the foyer so he could get around the first floor of the house, as he firmly decided he wasn’t going up or down steps.
He flat out refused to wear a collar. In fact, he became a lawn ornament when a collar was placed on him.
He loved to go for walks, as long as I carried him…
…and that became harder and harder as he seemed to continually put on weight.
He became a 14 pound pork roast with stick legs. Tini moved up to the heavyweight division.
I began referring to him as “My Last Meal.”
His Owner Gets Smarter
Tini now will go up a few steps, but still refuses to go down.
He will now wear a collar. He ultimately fell for the line “only the best dogs get pretty necklaces.” Turns out dogs are as gullible as men!
We go for walks where Tini actually walks…
And we are seriously working on the weight thing.
The Big Picture
By Canine standards, he’s not much of a dog, but he’s my dog.
Animal Planet did a show on the 10 breeds of dogs most removed from the wolf – of course, the Chihuahua (pronounced ”che-hoo-a-hoo-a” by my Vet & his staff when they think I can’t hear) came in first place – the dog furthest from the wolf. No mystery where that was going…
Tini is an excellent early warning system. For whatever value a security system has, Tini maximizes it. And very economical – low input, low output.
His teeth are small – I refer to them as “The Tiny Daggers of Death.”
If holding on to something in his mouth meant anything, he would rule the world. In human terms, he could only hope to get to a capillary – veins and arteries are out of the question.
Tini’s Got Shotgun
He loves car rides. I mean he really, really loves to ride in the car. In dog terms, an hour in the car for Tini could be the equivalent of a day at the amusement park.
That he likes car rides suits me just fine, as driving continues to be one of my personal pleasures.
And This All Leads To…
When I come home (or often, even upon entering the room), Tini reacts like it is the best thing that ever happened. Circles and wiggles all over the place!
So, yes, I aspire to be as good as Tini (as psychotic as he is) thinks I am. I’d sure hate to let the little guy down.
Frankly,
Francis
Posted by Frankly Francis on April 26, 2010 under Personal |
Sometimes I can be a curmudgeon, and sometimes I am proud of that.
I’m waiting in the drive-thru lane, I’m still waiting, I can see myself aging, pigs are flying above my car, Hell is freezing over. OK, I’m overplaying it, but it seems like an undue amount of time. And all I want is a black coffee.
I’ve long maintained that the propensity to get “order screwed” in the drive-thru lane is the price that one pays for convenience, but I can’t even get up there to place my order.
Finally, I’m at the window. The young lady rejects my money and hands me my coffee. She says that it’s on the house for the wait. I offer to pay again, but she insists that the manager insists.
Why Thank You, Wendy’s…I’ll be back again.
What a unique experience. One that I’ve never had before at fast food: understanding of the customer and the desire to mitigate the delay.
Imagine that, it’s almost like they think my time might be valuable. I’ve had that notion before, but it is affirming when others feel that way as well.
I’d like to think that I’m easy to please, that I’m as understanding and forgiving as the next guy, but I’ve seen the next guy in action on many occasions and it hasn’t been pretty. And I have had my moments too.
I don’t mean to take my pleasant surprise over the top. I know it was just a coffee, but it is a response worth noting nonetheless.
Frankly,
Francis
Posted by Frankly Francis on March 6, 2010 under Books/Authors |
A fair time ago, The Last Lecture was recommended to me by someone whose opinion I respect.
For those that have let the memories slip away, Randy Pausch was a Professor at Carnegie Mellon who was diagnosed with terminal cancer at the age of 46. In 2007, he gave a “last lecture” that got all kinds of attention and subsequently expanded upon it in best-selling book form. He died in 2008.
Back to me: I sure took my sweet time getting around to reading it. I really didn’t want to read it. We all have our own unique make-up, quirks, and traits. For better or for worse, I operate under the idea that the masses are always wrong. So as everybody was reading The Last Lecture, then by my standards, it was not for me.
As Mark Twain said, “When you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
But in all due fairness, the masses are not always wrong. And they certainly weren’t wrong in their embrace of Randy Pausch’s memoir.
I’d like to say that I enjoyed reading it, and to a degree I did, but my overall take on it was not too dissimilar from my post funeral home introspection…in that having paid my last respects to the deceased and my sympathy to the family, I realize that the vast majority of the things that I have to do and deal with that seem to really matter, really do not matter all that much. I do my best to not get caught up in petty details, but I would be misleading if I said that I don’t get caught up in the petty details.
Professor Pausch’s book goes a long way in pointing out what is important and what is not so important. He does not get deeply philosophical. He certainly does not say anything that has not been said before. His take is refreshingly simple and straight forward. I would like to think that it is naturally intuitive, but even if that is the case, it never hurts to have meaningful things pointed out.
Randy Pausch
Occam’s razor dictates that the simplest explanation is the best explanation.
In fact, Pausch’s quote “We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand” should make Occam proud. I think, for ourselves and more so for our own understanding of the people around us, we would be well advised to embrace this principle.
My summary: It is a short, easy read that offers valuable insights – well worth the time I spent on it.
In closing, my too late thanks to Randy Pausch for taking the time during your last days to express your thoughts. I wish you were amongst us longer.
Frankly,
Francis
Posted by Frankly Francis on January 2, 2010 under Personal |
First off, I humbly consider myself lucky and blessed because of the people and circumstances that I have been fortunate enough to have experienced.
Judged by conventional standards, my life has had a lot of high highs and low lows. For me it is just my adventure. However, the last few years have been the most difficult of all. I am intensely curious to see where this all leads me to.
So, as the year begins, I find myself looking forward, more so than usual, to my next revolution around the sun.
Didn’t we just celebrate the new millennium? A decade has passed?
And this Internet thing…any chance it will catch on? The impact of the World Wide Web is both amazing and fantastic.
It’s difficult for me to believe that marijuana has not yet been legalized, regulated and taxed.
Furthermore, we’re making more of this than needs to be made – Gays should be legally allowed to enter into civil relationship contracts that some call marriage. And the exclusion from the military thing needs to go too.
Been watching more TV than usual lately. Dexter, Sons of Anarchy, Stargate Universe. Also been catching up on House and Stargate Atlantis. I know that TV is a legal drug induced vacation from living my own life, but…
Been reading more than usual lately (although I have always been an avid reader) and this pleases me.
I think that we should pay a lot more attention to the Rights of States as opposed to the Federal Government. The United States of America is a Union of States first, not a federal government imposing national rules upon every individual. The foregoing within the Constitution, of course.
I prefer the features and interactivity associated with MySpace, but I continue to surrender to Facebook, being a willing victim of fashion…
Still cannot understand how in these most politically correct times, females, it seems to me, are more denigrated than ever in pop culture, especially music. Even more confused that there seems to be no one objecting. Ladies come on. Your sisters have fought hard before you in a battle that should not even had to be fought.
I am hoping that Stephen King’s “Under the Dome” comes even close to “The Stand.”
Most Americans are a lot more libertarian than they realize. See where you really stand (if you dare) by taking The World’s Smallest Political Quiz at: http://www.theadvocates.org/quizp/index.html
I’m a grandpa now, but in these ever life span expanding days, I consider myself a “junior grandpa” as opposed to my personal concept of a grandpa in my younger days. Gotta say that for me it is pretty cool to have grandkids.
No Chicken Little, the sky is not falling. We need much less emotional reaction and much more empirical evidence in the debate over global warming.
The advances in our technology are incredible. There is a lot to look forward to in the immediate future.
Did we not occupy Afghanistan for the purpose of hunting down Osama Bin Laden? And increasing the current mission there is for what? I don’t like how this is playing out. Oh, and could we please rebuild Iraq already and get our troops home?
As a citizen and even more so as a veteran, I support our military members, but I question our leaders’ use of our military.
I don’t vouch for the accuracy, but if you are feeling the need to Keep Up With The Joneses, check out how you are doing on a world wide basis at: www.globalrichlist.com
If I was silly enough to make New Year’s Resolutions, I would resolve to spend more time on music performance, foreign language study, creating creative travel opportunities, engaging the people I know, meeting new people, and treating writing more as work, as opposed to pleasure.
May The Road Rise With You.
Frankly,
Francis
Posted by Frankly Francis on November 24, 2009 under Personal |
True story. A good story? I hope so. It works for me so I thought I’d share:
A few years ago. Out with a few guys for dinner/drinks. It is work related, but social. I’m low man on the totem pole. We end-up at main guy’s house for a last soda…or many. Sitting outside. Fire going. Mondo stars.
One of the guys looks at the rest of us and asks, “If you could only tell your children one thing, what would it be?” Conceivably, not a light-weight question…
…If you could only tell your children one thing, what would it be?”
Being the restrained guy that I am, I instantly blurted out, I would tell them, “Just be who you are!” The words were leaving my lips and I was listening to them. Just came out of me. Like a spontaneous combustion response.
Had time to think about it and, I stand by it.
There are lots of things to say to our children. All kinds of advice to give. The passing on of life lessons is important. Active parenting is critical. However, for me what’s paramount is not deciding my kids’ way, but being there to help guide them on the pathway of their own choice.
I trust that as a parent (and myself, as an individual) I have lived-up to that.
I’ve seen too many people transformed into something they are not. So many that are what others want them to be. So many that are not fulfilled in their employment. So many that are not what they really wish for themselves.
So,
Just Be Who You Are
Who else can you really be anyways?
Frankly,
Francis
Posted by Frankly Francis on March 6, 2009 under Personal |
I’ve mentioned the general info about streaking in the 70′s in a previous post. I also mentioned in that post that I streaked a time or two and it did have some unintended consequences:
It was a Sunday night back in 1974. Ernie and I were bored. We decided to streak the local 7-11 type gas station. We did. All going according to plan when in the midst of our “ass-cape,” Officer Timothy Onions decided to pull in to buy a pack of smokes. He came straight at us (he actually accelerated) in his car.
Ernie went one way, I went the other. Officer Onions followed me. I got to the back corner of the property and lo to my wonder and surprise was a six foot fence with spikes! Great development: Officer Onions running at me and the Wall of China in front of me. I jumped like it was the Olympics. That fence could have been ten feet high – I was one motivated jumper.
Ran through backyards to get to the car. Ernie had already made it and was leaning sidewise on the seat to avoid detection. I hopped into the driver’s seat and slid down as well. We were the news of the moment and we must have had half of the force looking to bring us to justice. And let me tell you, bring us to justice they did.
We had a good visual of the cars in pursuit, so any time one was headed towards us; we just slid down so that our car looked unoccupied. It was brilliant and we were sure that we had beaten The Man. But things can take a twist. The police, it seemed, had given up the chase, but then one last car came by. As we slid down into safety my foot hit the brake, thereby igniting the brake lights and furthermore giving the police officer the easiest arrest of his career.
It could have ended there, but it didn’t. I had to go to court. Because I was seventeen, I had to be accompanied by a parent. Mom, in all her unhappy glory, was there by my side. The judge read the charges, slid down his glasses a bit, then read some more. He looked up and asked, “Mr. Law, in attempting to avoid arrest, you ran through some backyards. Did you know that one of those was My backyard?” I said, “No.”
Of course, I hoped that this would make him unable to render judgment upon me and maybe it would all go away. He went on, “You know, my daughter’s bedroom window faces the backyard. Do you think that I want my daughter, looking out her window, to see you go running by without clothes?”
I sensed where he was going with this and replied, “I will never run naked in front of your daughter’s window again.” OK, so now it’s clear that this guy is going to render judgment whether he should or not…
I was found guilty of the crime of disorderly conduct and had to pay a fine, it being my first offense.
But that’s not what I’m here to talk about…I’m here to talk about becoming a Certified Public Accountant.
After passing the grueling 19½ hour test and doing my years of apprenticeship time, it was time for me to become officially certified. The application was going along fine until I hit the question, “Have you ever been convicted of any crime? If so, provide the details.”
Paranoia and fear struck me immediately. I mean, I’m asking the State Board of Accountancy to license me to its highest standards of accounting. Streaking and Accounting are two very different things.
My lawyer advised me that if I was honest and provided the details it would be much better than if I forgot that I had been convicted.
So like Arlo Guthrie in Alice’s Restaurant, when, in the midst of serious criminals at the Army Entrance Board, he has to confess to being a litterbug, I had to confess to the New York State Board that I had indeed been arrested for running around naked outside. Arlo, to his credit, didn’t get into the army, but for better or worse, I did get to be a CPA.
Frankly,
Francis
P.S. I never did run naked by the judge’s daughter’s window again, but that did not end my streaking career either…
Posted by Frankly Francis on February 27, 2009 under Personal |
I was at an interesting party about the time that I had traveled 17 revolutions around the sun. A lot of philosophical professor types getting buzzed and talking about all kinds of metaphysical existentialist things. Yikes – an intellectual smorgasbord!
I was discussing some mundane topic like the meaning of life with a psychologist by the name of George Appleton. I remember that he had his arm in a cast. Found out later that George had broken it by tobogganing off the roof of his house. Also found out that he liked to go duck hunting with a submachine gun. Appleton may have had a few personal idiosyncrasies…
When another person joined us, the conversation took a twist. I’m going to have to paraphrase & significantly condense, but this should be a fairly good depiction of the exchange that took place:
Other Person: I had a rotten childhood and crummy parents.
Appleton: OK, so what are you going to do about it now?
Other Person: I have no friends and no one likes me.
Appleton: OK, so what are you going to do about it now?
Other Person: I’ve been treated unfairly by others.
Appleton: OK, so what are you going to do about it now?
Other Person: Life sucks, I’m bored, I never get a break, and so on.
Appleton: OK, so what are you going to do about it now?
I’m sure you get the picture of where Appleton was coming from. It was one heck of a revelation for me. I was very fortunate to have been present during that conversation.
Appleton taught me that unless I could go back in time and change things, I had better be concerned about my present choices. The present moment is everything – there is no rewind button when it comes to life.
Of course, I’ve had to re-learn this lesson periodically, but it enabled me, at a young age, to accept personal responsibility for my own life.
But that also left a lot of time for me to create other more interesting problems…
And for that, I thank you George Appleton.
Frankly,
Francis
