My Numeric Progeny

Posted by Frankly Francis on February 13, 2009 under Personal | 11 Comments to Read

I have three daughters, and though they have given names, I prefer to refer to them by their numerical birth order.  Thus, my daughters are One, Two & Three.

(From left to right) Three, Two & One

(From left to right) Three, Two & One

My Dad turned me on to Charlie Chan movies (the black & white days), and Charlie always referred to his eldest son as “Number One Son,” so that is probably where my numeric system comes from…or perhaps it is that no matter how hard I try, I just can’t escape my background in accounting.

I think this is also a very practical way to talk about my kids with anyone else.  Why burden other people with the responsibility of remembering your children’s names?  My numeric name system to those outside my family is clear and easy.  And from my experience, seems to work well.

So as you can figure, in discussion, if I inadvertently say my child’s name, my listeners usually tend to ask: which kid is that?  One, Two or Three?

When One became pregnant, I had to consider my numeric nomenclature.

The answer was not difficult to arrive at.  Since One is my first child, therefore her first child, in relation to me, is 1.1.  Ah, the joys of fundamental mathematics.



My first grand child, 1.1, is two years old now, but she is still too young to be informed of her designation yet.  I can’t wait.

Now the plot thickens, but the methodology holds up.  Daughters Two and One are presently simultaneously pregnant, in that relative order.  A first child for daughter Two and a second child for daughter One.

According to my system then, One is having 1.2 and Two is having 2.1.

1.2 and 2.1 makes for reciprocal grand children – what a delightful coincidence!

And maybe, I just have too much time on my hands…but most certainly, I have very understanding daughters.



  • Bowerman said,

    How do you keep the guys from banging down your door? Oops, I guess you failed that task for One & Two. It does seem that Guy One and Guy Two are OK guys; I’d allow them into my family. Which daughter is your favorite?

  • Frankly Francis said,

    Thanks, and yes One & Two brought home great guys – I could not be more pleased! As to which daughter is my favorite? You know I’m not going there. As I’m sure you are with your kids (who I think very highly of) each is to be loved for their own unique self.

  • Damien said,

    Your children sound like versions of windows. Just never tell 3.0 that she is the new and improved version, 1.0 and 2.0 will never let you live that down. I was always 2.0 in my family, and no were no talking about my IQ. Its more like 2.5, but I don’t like to brag.

  • Debbie said,

    Let me just add that 1, 2 and 3 each holds their respective numbers dear to their hearts! I know…I’m the mom! I’ve always wondered though…does that make you and I two zero’s?

  • Steve Headrick said,

    Oh my …. I remember when #3 was in a crib, #2 was riding her bike at the park (straddling and just reaching the pedals, actually), and #1 was getting into the inevitable ‘discussion’ with your better half about makeup do’s and DON’Ts …. It seem like it was just yesterday! Please congratulate them for me on the forthcoming Numbers 2.1 and 1.2, respectively.
    I am sure that the new ‘additions’ (groan) will make you as proud as their mothers always have. Congratulations!

  • Chastity said,

    Ha…I have three children whom I often name. I think when I first read your number system I assumed you were protecting their identity. Sometimes online and speaking on other applications I refer to them as a son or daughter to avoid giving their names to people I don’t know. Now I am so protective that no one dare mess with me or mine so it doesn’t matter. The Grandchildren will probably find your unique persective neat and always remember their designated numbers with love.

  • Chris Kinkade said,

    Are 1 and 2 having any boys? Will that screw up the accounting system since right now it is all girls?

  • Frankly Francis said,

    Hey Chris – Two is having a girl, but yes, One is having a male child. So naturally, Debbie is thrilled that we will finally have a boy amongst us. As to my system, I think it works as is, though I must confess that from your comment, I did toy with the idea of adding another layer…

  • Chris Kinkade said,

    I don’t know Fran, the “Francis Law System of Daughter Numerology” was predicated on the fact that you had 3 “daughters” and not any “sons.” Before he died Carl Sagan speculated that had you indeed had a son the “FLSODN” might never had been conceived. Sagan went on to point out the the very uniqueness of the overwhelming female population in the Law household made this an obvious choice as a means of order.

    Michio Kaku also speculated that a boy would have forced you to become more creative. He wrote a book about what you would have to do if a male entered your code system, it’s called “Fran Law’s System is Down.” It’s fascinating reading.

    So now Fran, what do you do? The system has a flaw.

  • John said,

    They are all beautiful ladies you must be so proud. I’m thinking “A” (their beautiful mother) had quite a bit to do with it!

  • Marshall said,

    Nice family – –

    Great pic of 1.1 (:-))
    I have 7 grandkids with another on the way!