The waitress brought me another drink. She wanted to light my hurricane lamp again. I wouldn’t let her. “Can you see anything in the dark, with your sunglasses on?” she asked me. “The big show is inside my head,” I said.
I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can’t see from the center.
All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.
Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be.
I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don’t let anybody tell you different.
All these people talk so eloquently about getting back to good old-fashioned values. Well, as an old poop I can remember back to when we had those old-fashioned values, and I say let’s get back to the good old-fashioned First Amendment of the good old-fashioned Constitution of the United States — and to hell with the censors! Give me knowledge or give me death!
Wake up, you idiots! Whatever made you think that money was so valuable?
New knowledge is the most valuable commodity on earth. The more truth we have to work with, the richer we become.
Many people need desperately to receive this message: I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.
People don’t come to church for preachments, of course, but to daydream about God.
A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.
Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you’ll look back and realize they were big things.
And I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, ‘If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.
I will say, too, that lovemaking, if sincere, is one of the best ideas Satan put in the apple she gave to the serpent to give to Eve. The best idea in that apple, though, is making jazz.
Perhaps, when we remember wars, we should take off our clothes and paint ourselves blue and go on all fours all day long and grunt like pigs. That would surely be more appropriate than noble oratory and shows of flags and well-oiled guns.
People say there are no atheists in foxholes. A lot of people think this is a good argument against atheism. Personally, I think it’s a much better argument against foxholes.
True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.
To be is to do – Socrates
To do is to be – Sartre
Do Be Do Be Do – Sinatra
I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all.
Unusual travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
If you can do no good, at least do no harm.
Make love when you can. It’s good for you.
Ting-a-ling mother fucker.
There is love enough in this world for everybody, if people will just look.
Until you die…it’s all life.
Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.
We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane.
Life is no way to treat an animal.
The insane, on occasion, are not without their charms.
There is no reason why good cannot triumph as often as evil. The triumph of anything is a matter of organization. If there are such things as angels, I hope that they are organized along the lines of the Mafia.
No matter how corrupt, greedy, and heartless our government, our corporations, our media, and our religious & charitable institutions may become, the music will still be wonderful.
A saint is a person who behaves decently in a shockingly indecent society.
What you can become is the miracle you were born to be through the work that you do.
My soul knows my meat is doing bad things, and is embarrassed. But my meat just keeps right on doing bad, dumb things.
She hated people who thought too much. At that moment, she struck me as an appropriate representative for almost all mankind.
And on the subject of burning books: I want to congratulate librarians, not famous for their physical strength or their powerful political connections or their great wealth, who, all over this country, have staunchly resisted anti-democratic bullies who have tried to remove certain books from their shelves, and have refused to reveal to thought police the names of persons who have checked out those titles.
Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place.
The Fourteenth Book is entitled, “What can a Thoughtful Man Hope for Mankind on Earth, Given the Experience of the Past Million Years. It doesn’t take long to read The Fourteenth Book. It consists of one word and a period. This is it: “Nothing.”
A sane person to an insane society must appear insane.
And so it goes…