Posted by Frankly Francis on August 7, 2010 under Personal | 
Well, I’m here to tell you that from personal experience, the answer is yes.
It Begins
I’d like to think that I’ve always been a bit of a romantic, but in high school, I devoted myself to playing in a band for the purpose of lots of sex & drugs & rock-n-roll. Let me be brutally honest – it worked beyond my wildest expectations! In fact, it worked so well, by the time I was 18, I was kind of tired of the whole thing…
It Continues
So, I’ve just about graduated from high school and I go to this superb outdoor concert with my girlfriend at the time. Great bands and great times to be had except that my girlfriend really does not want to be there and really wants to leave. In fact she’s making me so miserable that leaving is the best alternative. So we go.
Then It Happens
On the way out, as I’m walking a little behind my soon to be ex-girlfriend, I see a vision of female beauty approaching me:
Tall, blonde, short-shorts (that’s what we called ’em at the time), tube top, dangling earrings, calf-laced platform shoes…yeah, that’s the way it was.
I distinctly remember saying to myself, “I should not be leaving, I should be staying to meet this woman.” And let me be very clear here, she was a woman, I was still a boy.
I left with my unhappy girlfriend. So it goes…
Fast Forward
So now I’ve graduated from high school. It’s 1975 for those who care about carbon dating. My close friend, Cocaine Corey, suggests that I go to Hairstyling School. The movie “Shampoo” had just been released (starring Warren Beatty & Goldie Hawn) and Beatty was having a pretty good time. Seemed like a great idea, so it’s off to become a Cosmetologist.
It Really Happens
First day of Hairstyling School. I’m surrounded by a lot of very hip people older than myself. Intimidation is taking its toll on me. I settle into my chair, but realize that I forgot something, so I leave the room.
At the doorway…right smack dab in the middle of the doorway…I mean, at the exact center of the doorway, I literally walk right into (you may have guessed it) my blonde Goddess from the aborted rock concert a few months before. The impact is so strong, we literally almost knock each other unconscious. Not only am I seeing stars, but I’m seeing stars.
She Likes Me
The blonde Goddess, who happens to be a couple of years my senior and maybe not as smart as she should be in picking a guy, actually falls for me and within a few months we are engaged. About one year later to the day we are married. A little more than one year after that our first child is born. Guess we were really stupid or just really in love…
Then...
She Still Likes Me
35 years later. 3 daughters and a few grandchildren. We are still living life’s adventures together. I tell her she has been punished enough by my presence, but she still lets me in the house.
...and now
Like everyone, we’ve had our share of ups and downs, but I would not walk this planet with anyone else.
Frankly,
Francis
P.S. I dropped out of Hairstyling School – I had no talent for it. But I ended up with a whole lot more than a certificate and a vocation!
Posted by Frankly Francis on July 1, 2010 under Personal |
So last weekend was spent going to a couple of graduation parties. Lots of fun, good to see people, proud of the graduates. Got me a little reflective…
I have never attended one of my own graduations. I intend to keep it that way. Pomp & Circumstance does have its place amongst us and I respect that for others.
I had what you might call a less than wholesome attitude in high school. I wanted to live. I wanted to experience things. And authority and rules were needlessly restrictive.
You know what it was about? It was playing in a rock-n-roll band and enjoying to the fullest all that went along with that. I never got caught up in school spirit. I was doing time when it came to that place…
Hence, I decided to my skip my graduation. I took a nap during its scheduled time. Never regretted it.
Fast forward a couple of decades. Number Two daughter (I refer to my children by their birth order rather than by their names) was graduating from the very same high school. It meant that I had to go to the graduation ceremony. I really did want to attend her graduation, but I still wasn’t too keen on being back at my old alma mater.
Grad ceremony time and, well, I’m getting though it just fine. As she stepped up to the podium, I noticed that the Valedictorian had colored a rainbow on her headgear.
She took a moment to make the standard acknowledgements and opening remarks.
She then launched into a searing harangue about how mean and awful her fellow classmates were to her and to each other. Accusations of cliques and cruelty shot from her lips like bullets from an AK-47.
She was clearly deviating from her pre-approved speech. The school board members and faculty were squirming in their chairs behind her.
Then, to my wonder and amazement, she topped it all off by formally outing herself! Yep, she played that card in front of a full house. Remember the mention of the rainbow earlier?
Graduates were openly yelling and taunting her. Parents were saying very nasty things loudly. The school officials looked ready for retirement.
Bedlam and anarchy all around me. Chaos.
Truth being stranger than fiction in front of my eyes.
I was ecstatic! I think I yelled “You Go Girl!” Frankly Francis sidebar: please place the phrase in the time context that it was delivered in – prior to this millennium.
It was the best graduation I’ve ever witnessed!
However, cinematically, the best commencement address I’ve ever heard was delivered by Rodney Dangerfield in the movie “Back to School.” It went something like this:
“Thank you, Dean Martin, President Sinclair…and members of the graduating class. I have only one thing to say to you today…it’s a jungle out there.
You gotta look out for number one. But don’t step in number two.
And so, to all you graduates…as you go out into the world my advice to you is…don’t go! It’s rough out there. Move back with your parents. Let them worry about it.”
That pretty much calls it the way it is.
Frankly,
Francis
Posted by Frankly Francis on May 31, 2010 under In The News, Social Issues/Politics |
It being Memorial Day, with the recent activity in Congress to finally do the right thing in this regard, and MOST importantly for the gay soldiers who have served in our military and died for our freedom, I submit the following, which I originally published in January 2009.
I abhor discrimination in any form. It is insidious – the social and economic costs are enormous. The lives that are diminished because of it reflect the real loss that our society endures. It is just plain common sense that we all lose out when we deny opportunity to those willing to take it.
Gay people cannot serve in America’s military. I’ve never understood the argument that someone’s sexual orientation affects their ability to do a job. I do understand that homophobic attitudes certainly impair the ability of gays to function in any capacity.
Under President Clinton, in order to compromise the rules regarding gays, the policy for all sides of the issue became, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” This is patently unfair. A person’s sexual orientation should not be a matter that needs to be revealed or hidden.
Yet, somehow this is still an issue. We need to get past it.
As a veteran of the US Air Force, I can say this… I was always proud to serve beside anyone else (gay or straight, black or white, believer or non-believer, etc.) who took the oath of serving in the military as seriously as I did. Can’t think of anyone I served with who didn’t feel the same general way.
And for those of you still clinging to the foolish concept that being gay is a choice, then I pose the following: If you believe being gay is choice, then you, yourself, should have the ability to choose to feel the same way emotionally and sexually to members of your own gender as you do about the other gender. If you cannot honestly do this, then you are on the road of awareness headed towards reality. On the other hand, if you can honestly do this, you probably have a suspicion that you may have been programmed bi-sexual.
However, the foregoing test is irrelevant when it comes to anyone’s rights as an American. It is important for all of us that gay people have the same rights as straight people because, ponder this, when anyone’s rights are infringed, everyone’s rights are infringed.
To the Gay Community, my apologies as you continue to face this discrimination, along with the other needless indignities you still endure. May it end soon.
Frankly,
Francis
Posted by Frankly Francis on May 15, 2010 under Personal |
I’ve decided upon my life’s goal:
I want to be as good as my dog thinks I am
The Set-Up
Emma, our resident feline (aka Mrs. Peal) is really a pain to winter with. She loves being outdoors, but does not like to go out in the snow. A few years ago, we decided, before the complete winter lock down, that we would get a kitten to occupy our soon to be cabin fevered cat.
As is typical of most of our planning and execution, we came home instead with a dog…a male Chihuahua puppy to be more precise.
Thus, for better or worse, Martini (Tini) Oliver joined our clan.
We’ve not had much dog experience, and what we have had has not been all that good. So it was with certain trepidation that we began our life together.
The Early Days
Martini Oliver
He beached himself on a step as a puppy. That was it for stairs. We put in a small ramp in the foyer so he could get around the first floor of the house, as he firmly decided he wasn’t going up or down steps.
He flat out refused to wear a collar. In fact, he became a lawn ornament when a collar was placed on him.
He loved to go for walks, as long as I carried him…
…and that became harder and harder as he seemed to continually put on weight.
He became a 14 pound pork roast with stick legs. Tini moved up to the heavyweight division.
I began referring to him as “My Last Meal.”
His Owner Gets Smarter
Tini now will go up a few steps, but still refuses to go down.
He will now wear a collar. He ultimately fell for the line “only the best dogs get pretty necklaces.” Turns out dogs are as gullible as men!
We go for walks where Tini actually walks…
And we are seriously working on the weight thing.
The Big Picture
By Canine standards, he’s not much of a dog, but he’s my dog.
Animal Planet did a show on the 10 breeds of dogs most removed from the wolf – of course, the Chihuahua (pronounced ”che-hoo-a-hoo-a” by my Vet & his staff when they think I can’t hear) came in first place – the dog furthest from the wolf. No mystery where that was going…
Tini is an excellent early warning system. For whatever value a security system has, Tini maximizes it. And very economical – low input, low output.
His teeth are small – I refer to them as “The Tiny Daggers of Death.”
If holding on to something in his mouth meant anything, he would rule the world. In human terms, he could only hope to get to a capillary – veins and arteries are out of the question.
Tini’s Got Shotgun
He loves car rides. I mean he really, really loves to ride in the car. In dog terms, an hour in the car for Tini could be the equivalent of a day at the amusement park.
That he likes car rides suits me just fine, as driving continues to be one of my personal pleasures.
And This All Leads To…
When I come home (or often, even upon entering the room), Tini reacts like it is the best thing that ever happened. Circles and wiggles all over the place!
So, yes, I aspire to be as good as Tini (as psychotic as he is) thinks I am. I’d sure hate to let the little guy down.
Frankly,
Francis
Posted by Frankly Francis on May 1, 2010 under In The News, Social Issues/Politics |
Recently a death row inmate requested the firing squad as a final parting gift from the State of Utah.
I find it odd how odd America can be. In terms of a massive, centrally organized national government, we are gaga to emulate the experience of the far older Europeans, but unlike them we continue to have some serious interest in executing criminals…perhaps we just cannot let go of our puritanical past…
…and Frankly Francis, as usual, against the grain, is right where he is accustomed to finding himself: in favor of very limited national government and opposed to the death penalty. (Note to Self: if all else fails establish the single resident country of FranLand, name myself Ambassador to the U.S. and get full diplomatic immunity – yeah, that should work just fine.)
But if I am murdered, God forbid, please do not execute my killer. Mind you, I am not saying that I’d be in favor of letting that person walk the streets again. In that circumstance, I’d like to figure a way for that person to work for the benefit of my heirs…but I digress.
From Webster’s:
Murder – To kill (a person) unlawfully and with malice
Capital Punishment – Penalty of death for a crime
History
Throughout recorded history, governments and religions have freely dispensed the death penalty. Things, in their often circuitous way, move forward. In recent times, most of the generally considered civilized world has abolished capital punishment.
Old Testament Religion: The Principle of “An Eye For An Eye”
Pretty simple. You kill someone; the state kills you in return. Fair is Fair. You get what you give. There is ample religious support for this practice and it is very literally still used in parts of the world.
It should be noted that this also requires “stoning” to death your neighbor for adultery or homosexuality, amongst other things.
New Testament Religion: The Principle of “Turn the Other Cheek”
In spite of its idealism, we haven’t gotten there yet. I’m not thinking that we will be incorporating this into our jurisprudence any time soon.
But considering that in America, we have gotten the church out of the execution business, it leaves the job to the government.
Some Other Factors Against Capital Punishment
The government does, unwittingly or intentionally on occasion wrongfully accuse a citizen of something that they did not do. No one should die because of that.
When someone is executed, if it turns out that the individual was innocent, there is no redress – the wrong cannot be made right.
The death penalty has been shown to be used disproportionately against the poor and minorities in its application. If we are to keep it, then it needs to be applied equally.
It can be argued that life in prison, without parole, is a worse fate.
Killing someone is still (perhaps fortunately) not a “neat” process. Many executions are messy and are seen as cruel and unusual punishment by a significant number of Americans.
There are conflicting studies on whether capital punishment reduces serious crime, but the conflicting results should cause us to further study the issue.
When Something Is So Wrong It Can’t Be Right
I think that taking someone’s life is about as wrong as wrong can be…so wrong that it can never be right. We really need to get past killing each other and well, violence of any sort. We are a long ways from there, and we may never get there, but taking capital punishment out the hands of the government would be a very big step forward.
In Conclusion
There really does not appear to be a definitive answer regarding the use of or the abolishment of the death penalty. Both sides make compelling arguments.
While always open to better understanding the opposing point of view, I remain against capital punishment and hope that Americans will join the many other people on this planet that have come to the same conclusion.
Frankly,
Francis
Posted by Frankly Francis on April 26, 2010 under Personal |
Sometimes I can be a curmudgeon, and sometimes I am proud of that.
I’m waiting in the drive-thru lane, I’m still waiting, I can see myself aging, pigs are flying above my car, Hell is freezing over. OK, I’m overplaying it, but it seems like an undue amount of time. And all I want is a black coffee.
I’ve long maintained that the propensity to get “order screwed” in the drive-thru lane is the price that one pays for convenience, but I can’t even get up there to place my order.
Finally, I’m at the window. The young lady rejects my money and hands me my coffee. She says that it’s on the house for the wait. I offer to pay again, but she insists that the manager insists.
Why Thank You, Wendy’s…I’ll be back again.
What a unique experience. One that I’ve never had before at fast food: understanding of the customer and the desire to mitigate the delay.
Imagine that, it’s almost like they think my time might be valuable. I’ve had that notion before, but it is affirming when others feel that way as well.
I’d like to think that I’m easy to please, that I’m as understanding and forgiving as the next guy, but I’ve seen the next guy in action on many occasions and it hasn’t been pretty. And I have had my moments too.
I don’t mean to take my pleasant surprise over the top. I know it was just a coffee, but it is a response worth noting nonetheless.
Frankly,
Francis
Posted by Frankly Francis on April 23, 2010 under Books/Authors, Social Issues/Politics |
I had a real good idea what this book would say – I figured it would be preachin’ to the choir. Mostly because of that, I really took my time getting around to reading it. Published in 1979, I let it languish in my library for almost 30 years. Well, as it turns out, it was indeed preachin’ to the choir. And this choir really enjoyed the preachin’ it got.
Not to exclude Rose Friedman, but…
Here’s my take: Milton Friedman valued our individuality. He felt that the collective acts of individuals pursuing their own interests would provide much more, in terms personal satisfaction and economic resources than the results of individuals acting in a collective. It follows then, his basic tenet that without economic freedom, there cannot be political freedom.
The fusion of economic and political freedom becomes the optimum result. Note, Friedman was much too realistic to advocate utopia – he certainly knew that there was no perfection in any approach, but held firmly to the value of recognizing each individual life as having a value that exceeded that of the state. Frankly Francis says: True That!
A few thoughts directly from Friedman:
Milton Friedman
“A society that puts equality before freedom will get neither. A society that puts freedom before equality will get a high degree of both”
“One of the great mistakes is to judge policies and programs by their intentions rather than their results”
“I think the government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem and very often makes the problem worse”
“I say thank God for government waste. If government is doing bad things, it’s only the waste that prevents the harm from being greater”
Amen Brother.
Here’s a quote about Friedman by George Schultz that I think is worth aspiring to – “Everyone loves to argue with Milton, particularly when he isn’t there.”
Milton was philosophically a libertarian. Politically, he was a Republican, but that, he explained was for expediency, perhaps much the same as Congressman Ron Paul.
During his lifetime he was recognized with the John Bates Clark Medal (1951), the Nobel Memorial Prize in Economics (1976), and in 1988, both the Presidential Medal of Freedom and the National Medal of Science. Big Stuff!
I must say that as reading Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged” strengthened my existing perceptions, reading Freidman solidified my existing beliefs.
It is distinctly your own unique and wonderful life – Do yourself a real favor and read this book.
Frankly,
Francis
Posted by Frankly Francis on March 6, 2010 under Books/Authors |
A fair time ago, The Last Lecture was recommended to me by someone whose opinion I respect.
For those that have let the memories slip away, Randy Pausch was a Professor at Carnegie Mellon who was diagnosed with terminal cancer at the age of 46. In 2007, he gave a “last lecture” that got all kinds of attention and subsequently expanded upon it in best-selling book form. He died in 2008.
Back to me: I sure took my sweet time getting around to reading it. I really didn’t want to read it. We all have our own unique make-up, quirks, and traits. For better or for worse, I operate under the idea that the masses are always wrong. So as everybody was reading The Last Lecture, then by my standards, it was not for me.
As Mark Twain said, “When you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”
But in all due fairness, the masses are not always wrong. And they certainly weren’t wrong in their embrace of Randy Pausch’s memoir.
I’d like to say that I enjoyed reading it, and to a degree I did, but my overall take on it was not too dissimilar from my post funeral home introspection…in that having paid my last respects to the deceased and my sympathy to the family, I realize that the vast majority of the things that I have to do and deal with that seem to really matter, really do not matter all that much. I do my best to not get caught up in petty details, but I would be misleading if I said that I don’t get caught up in the petty details.
Professor Pausch’s book goes a long way in pointing out what is important and what is not so important. He does not get deeply philosophical. He certainly does not say anything that has not been said before. His take is refreshingly simple and straight forward. I would like to think that it is naturally intuitive, but even if that is the case, it never hurts to have meaningful things pointed out.
Randy Pausch
Occam’s razor dictates that the simplest explanation is the best explanation.
In fact, Pausch’s quote “We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand” should make Occam proud. I think, for ourselves and more so for our own understanding of the people around us, we would be well advised to embrace this principle.
My summary: It is a short, easy read that offers valuable insights – well worth the time I spent on it.
In closing, my too late thanks to Randy Pausch for taking the time during your last days to express your thoughts. I wish you were amongst us longer.
Frankly,
Francis
Posted by Frankly Francis on February 7, 2010 under Books/Authors, Personal |
Or:
How Small the World Can Be at Times…
Or:
Talk About Connecting the Dots!
Let me tell you a little story about a couple of people – one famous, one not. This true story is centered in Dresden, Germany. It’s OK if you don’t know of Dresden or its history. I only know of it coincidentally and accidentally. However, the way that I do know of it is pretty powerful. And it bears telling.
It has been said that life is the weaving of thread into a tapestry. This is my very small thread of that tapestry.
The Characters:
Dresden – Located on both banks of the Elbe River, it is situated in mid-eastern Germany, near the Czech border. It is a beautiful German city with historical importance as the Capital of Saxony. Dresden is known, amongst other things, for the quality of the fine china that it crafts.
Kurt Vonnegut – Renowned American author born into a family of German immigrants.
Marianne – Born in Germany, but now a long time American.
Frankly Francis – Curious social observer and commentator.
The Story:
Act One – World War II
Dresden is fortunate, as a German city, in that it has very limited, if any, military value. It is considered a “safe” city.
Kurt Vonnegut, like so many young men of his day, is a private in the U.S. Army. Because of his heritage, he could be shooting at his own family and they could be shooting back at him. War can be like that.
Marianne could have been any teenage girl anywhere at anytime, but she happened to be in Germany when the Germans were about to lose the war.
Vonnegut is taken prisoner by the Germans and is held in Dresden.
Marianne, being as young as she is, is relatively oblivious to understanding what is happening all around her. What is crystal clear is that she must travel and find her way to the advancing Americans. At all costs she has to avoid the advancing Russians.
Dresden is an easy target for Allied bombing. The British are really pissed that the Germans have bombed their old city of Coventry virtually out of existence. Plans are made and set in motion.
Marianne’s mother is apparently skilled at hiding her teenage daughter from the men. Nonetheless, Marianne, to this day, cannot forget the cries of the women being raped by the soldiers. Can you imagine living through that? You see, the Russians felt that they had been treated terribly by the Germans and now it is their turn to inflict a little treatment of their own.
Dresden is Fire Bombed shortly before the end of WWII. Historical reports estimated deaths in the range of 150,000 to 250,000, which would be more than those directly killed by the nuclear bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki combined. A recent report has substantially lowered the estimates to no more than 25,000 deaths. Whatever the actual total, it was a horrendous, apocalyptic event. 13 square miles of city were leveled.
Kurt Vonnegut survives the Fire Bombing of Dresden underground, in a meat storage locker. Can you imagine living through that? He later uses that address as the title to his book, “Slaughterhouse Five.”
Act Two – After the War
Marianne makes her way to America. She becomes close with my family. I think of her as family.
Frankly Francis, becoming sentient, rabidly reads everything Vonnegut writes. Frankly Francis concurs with John Stewart, who would later say, “Kurt Vonnegut made growing up bearable.”
Marianne and Frankly Francis are together at a birthday dinner for Maria, sister of Frankly Francis.
Frankly Francis, never one to waste an opportunity to mention that he had lunch with Kurt Vonnegut, talks of that meeting and Vonnegut’s past, including his having survived the Fire Bombing of Dresden.
Marianne, never one to waste a word, says simply and succinctly that she passed through Dresden on the day it was Fire Bombed and watched the destruction from just outside of town.
THUD!
Frankly Francis has made a loud sound by falling off of his chair.
Dots are connecting! What are the odds that this little thread would come into direct contact with two others who lived through an event of that magnitude?
Kurt Vonnegut and Marianne were within miles of each other on that day that so many died. Both were in very adverse, but dramatically different circumstances. Both hoped for something better to come. Both were able to move forward, but both were never the same.
And so it goes…
Frankly,
Francis
Posted by Frankly Francis on February 3, 2010 under Quotes |
Have more than thou showest, speak less than thou knowest – Shakespeare
Fortune favors the prepared mind – Louis Pasteur
There are those who would say that the liberation of humanity, the freedom of man and mind, is nothing but a dream. They are right. It is the American dream – Archibald McLeish
There are no shortcuts to any place worth going – Beverly Sills
The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do – Thomas Jefferson
You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear – Ambrose Redmoon
The real measure of our wealth is how much we’d be worth if we lost all our money – John Henry Jowett
We tend to overestimate the effect of a technology in the short run and underestimate the effect in the long run – Roy Amara
Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be – Abraham Lincoln
The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more – Woody Allen
Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it – P.J. O’Rourke
If you’re going through hell, keep going – Winston Churchill
In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable – Dwight D. Eisenhower
Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it – Cullen Hightower
A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul – George Bernard Shaw
Communism doesn’t work because people like to own stuff – Frank Zappa
For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, “It might have been” – John Greenleaf Whittier
I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this – Emo Phillips
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of – Burt Bacharach
Try to learn something about everything and everything about something – Thomas H. Huxley
Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved – William Jennings Bryan
Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that’s the stuff life is made of – Benjamin Franklin
When your work speaks for itself, don’t interrupt – Henry J. Kaiser
If at first you don’t succeed, before you try again, stop to figure out what you did wrong – Leo Rosten
The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget – Thomas Szasz
Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend – Theophrastus
Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from – Al Franken
It is always wise to look ahead, but difficult to look further than you can see – Winston Churchill
